Wine Buying Strategies & Tips

There are several important things to keep in mind once you begin to consider wine buying seriously. These strategies can help to accomplish three goals: finding the best price, ensuring the wine has been well stored and procuring desirable wines before they pass out of the marketplace.

Generally wine is cheapest when it is first released. In France this is known as first tranche or first slice. If a wine is particularly good then demand will increase thus increasing the price. This of course only applies to wine that is in high demand to begin with. The producers sell to distributors who then modify their price depending on the volume of orders from the retail sector.

This means that by the time the wine reaches the hands of the consumer the wine’s price has been increased three times. This is known as the three-tier system. Many American wineries are trying to circumvent this practice by selling directly to the consumer but thanks to the misguided shipping laws regarding alcohol this practice is limited at the present time. Another advantage of buying first tranche is that you may be sure the wine has been well stored provided you have adequate storage.

One way to lock in the initial price is to buy futures or en primeur. This practice is only for the experienced wine buyer. Buying this way can be a great advantage for a great vintage where prices can skyrocket as time goes on. Also in a year of great quality many wines will completely disappear from the market or only be available at a hugely inflated price. If the vintage is average then only a small savings might be obtained from buying this early. Buying futures in a poor vintage can lead to a loss or being stuck with a large amount of poor wine as usually a futures contract requires a minimum purchase of half a case.

Most importantly buy futures only from a well established merchant with a solid track record. There have been numerous scams involving a merchant selling millions of dollars in futures and then vanishing. Using a credit card is a good idea as the credit company will usually offer some sort of insurance should things go wrong. Buying this way is a gamble and should only be undertaken by a buyer who has a fair idea of what to expect.

Like anything, wine is cheapest if bought in bulk. Most retailers will offer a case discount. The standard is 10% but some retailers will do 20%. The danger with this is that you may end up with a lot of wine that you don’t want to drink. It’s easy to get caught up in the allure of the discount and forget that the same wine twelve times can become boring. So taste before you buy and even then remember that your palate might change and what tasted good a few years ago might not be welcome down the road.

Buying wine at auctions can be a great way to save money provided that the buyer remains disciplined and doesn’t get carried away in the heat of the bidding. The main risk with auctions is the sometimes unreliable history or provenance of the wine. The reputable American and English auction houses endeavor to source well-kept wine but the wine can never be one-hundred percent guaranteed. One tip for auctions is that Port wine auctioned in the Spring will generally sell for cheaper as the demand for the sweet wine is low in the warm months.

Wine is similar to other consumer goods and sometimes retailers have to liquidate inventory in order to bring in new releases. Often after the holidays wine will be broadly marked down though right before New Years is a good time to stock up on Champagne as the retailers bring in large quantities and attempt to move a greater volume at a lower price.

Like anything else smart wine buying requires a bit of digging around. Those who give in to impulse or hype will pay a higher price. Remember, there will always be another great vintage coming around the corner and a general wine shortage is unlikely to occur anytime soon.


How to Select Wine to Impress and Enjoy

Become Your Own Sommelier
A Sommelier is a wine expert hired by up-scale restaurants to order and maintain wine to match the chef’s menu. They are also available to recommended selected wines for patrons of the restaurant. If you don’t have the opportunity to consult a sommelier for your own entertaining, a little knowledge about wines and wine/food pairing can give you an edge in serving wine to the best advantage.

Pinpointing Your Palette by Sweetness
The first step in selecting wine is to discover which types of wine you prefer. Whether or not a wine is “right” for a menu, first and foremost it should be pleasing to your palette. Most people discover that they prefer a specific wine classification based on the amount of sugar in the wine. Wine sweetness classes can be described as follows:

Very Dry/Brut – Wine that contains an extremely low amount of natural sugar. Brut wines include champagne and other sparkling wines. Crisp is often used as an adjective to describe very dry wine.

Dry/Sec – Wine with a low volume of natural sugar. Merlot is the most common example of a dry wine. Dry wines are often described in terms of Sharpness.

Medium Dry/Demi Sec – Wines containing just a hint of sweetness. Demi Sec wines make a good choice for large groups as they will appeal to lovers of both dry and sweet wines. When applied to sparkling wines, demi sec indicates a dessert-quality champagne.

Medium Sweet/Doux – Medium sweet wines have a higher percentage of natural sugar. Many varieties of Riesling fall into the Medium Sweet category. A large number of fruity wines are described as medium sweet.

Sweet/Moelleux – Wines with the highest percentage of naturally retained sugar. Sweet wines are generally served with dessert or cheese. Sweet wines are almost never used as a table wine in entertaining.

Red or White – The Great Debate
Both red and white wines contain varieties of all different levels of sweetness. While the standard “red wine with red meat/white wine with fish and poultry” rule can still be applied, modern wine connoisseurs allow greater freedom when selecting wine/food pairings. In general, red wines tend to be heartier and pair better with rich, heavy meals. White wines are typically lighter, sweeter and complements more delicate foods. The main objective is not the color of the wine, but selecting a wine that neither overpowers nor is overpowered by your menu. Find a taste that you like and choose a wine in that category that matches your meal.

It All Starts with the Grape
The final basic factor to consider when determining which wine to serve is the grape used in fermenting the wine. Every wine is made from a specific grape, termed a varietal. As you venture out and try more wines, it will become clear which varietals you prefer. Some common wine varietals include:

Chardonnay – A fairly full bodied dry white wine. Chardonnay is one of the most popular wine choices for newer wine enthusiasts as it can be found almost anywhere and has a light, uncomplicated taste. Chardonnay can be used to accompany light pasta dishes and fresh seafood.

Merlot – A fruity, rich red wine, Merlot is Chardonnay’s red counterpart as it is the most common wine selected by those new to wine. Merlot is a good choice to serve with salad entrees as the fruity flavor counteracts the bitterness of the greens.

Pinot Noir – A heady red wine, Pinot Noir is created from highly acidic black grapes. (Hence the name, “Noir” is the French term for black.) The intense flavor of Pinot Noir pairs well with wild game, pork and tomato based sauces.

Riesling – Riesling wines are available in dry or sweet varieties. Refreshing and light, dry Riesling makes an excellent complement to stir-fry meals and other summery food choices.

Sauvignon – Rich and full bodied, this dry wine can be Cabernet (red) or Blanc (white). Both versions are excellent choices to be served with spicy foods.

Syrah/Shiraz – Spicy and aromatic, Shiraz has become extremely popular in the last 10 years. With many strong wines being produced in Australia (Shiraz) and California (Syrah), this red wine makes a perfect pairing with steak and other red meat dishes.

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Wine Critics and their Grading Systems

A useful tool for discussing wine is a grading system. By using a standard scale a wine can be placed within a common framework understood by all.

These systems are an attempt to impose order upon the very subjective question of taste. Most critics use some sort of grading to accompany their impressions of a wine. A numerical score can be useful when trying to understand how a critic feels, as every critic tries to maintain some sort of consistency when evaluating a wine. Without consistency a wine reviewer is useless as a reference. By understanding and becoming familiar with how a critic uses scores one can begin to see patterns in scoring and thus gain a better understanding of a critic’s palate.

The Parker System
Probably the most dominant system in use today is what is known as the Parker System, named after it’s inventor, preeminent wine critic Robert Parker. Parker’s 100-point scale is modeled after the American academic system of grading, as Parker figured this was a familiar scale for his readers. Every wine that he tastes immediately recieves a standard 50 points. The rest of the points awarded depend upon sensory factors weighted by their importance for the overall wine:

  • Color, as the least important factor in determining a wine’s quality, has a range of 1 to 5 points.
  • Next, judging how a wine smells the reviewer has a range of 1-15 points.
  • Getting the broadest range for scoring is the flavor and the finish, with up to 20 points.
  • Finally the wine’s ability to age and general quality has a range of 1 to 10 points.

Tallied together, these numbers constitute how the wine scored.

A similar scale but with less use is the U.C. Davis 20-point scale. Working similarly as the Parker scale components are scored individually but as there are fewer numbers the ranges are necessarily smaller; giving the reviewer a tighter space in which to record their impressions.

Parker’s System has become the most widely used due to the influence of it’s inventor but perhaps also due to it’s broad numerical range, which makes the difficult task of attempting to apply a scientific system upon what is primarily an emotional reaction a little easier.

There are countless other ways of scoring wine, many critics have devised their own systems which are equally effective as the two discussed above. The important thing is to first understand the methodology by which the critic uses to score. Once the rules are clear it’s possible to gain a sense of how the wine affected the reviewer.

The points and scores a reviewer assigns are meant to compliment the written description of the wine. Keep in mind that a score as well as a review can be affected by any number of variables. The best reviewers are trusted because they have demonstrated a strong track record of being objective. This ability to separate the emotional from the sensual is what makes a reliable wine critic a valuable resource in the quest for good wine.

Obviously sensory impressions can never be pinned down to a simple number or grade. These systems should never be the sole way to assess a wine, they are simply useful tools the reviewer can use to communicate their personal philospohy of how a wine should or should not be.

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Serving in Style: How to Choose the Correct Glassware

Why is Glassware Important?
Selecting the right glassware for your table and bar will enhance the appearance of your presentation, add elegance to your serving style and give flair to an aspect of ordinary dining and entertaining that is often overlooked. Beyond the aesthetics, specialized glassware is created to complement the drink it is intended to serve. Knowing the basics of wine, beer, and cocktail glasses can ensure that each and every beverage you serve can be enjoyed at the peak of its flavor. Use this guide to determine the most appropriate glassware for your needs and impress friends and connoisseurs alike.

Wine Glasses
Although wine glasses come in many different sizes, the cup portion or “bowl” is the most important aspect. The visual appeal, body of the wine and play of the aromas are all factors in choosing the correct glass. There are no hard, fast rules for serving wine, but the following standards are generally observed.

  • Red Wine – Traditionally, red wines with strong bouquets are served in the larger bowled wine glasses. The greater exposed surface gives these heady wines a good opportunity to breathe without losing the aroma.
  • White Wine – Lighter, more delicate white wines are served in taller glassware with a more narrow bowl that allows the bouquet to concentrate.
  • Champagne – The tall slender flute style glass is the best fit for champagne as it displays the sparkling quality of the bubbles at the best advantage. The low, wide open champagne glasses aren’t really practical as they are easily spilled and cause the champagne to go flat much more quickly.
  • Sherry/Port – As sherry and port are generally strong wine hybrids that are served as pre or post dinner aperitifs, they are generally served in exceptionally small glasses. Like liqueurs, Sherry and Port are both meant to be sipped and the size of the glass indicates the correct serving amount.

Beer Glasses
While true beer enthusiasts will tell you that using any glass is preferable to drinking from the bottle or can, there are specific glasses for specific types of beer. Like wine, the shape of the glass will affect the aroma and subsequent overall enjoyment of the beer. Unlike in Europe where there are many different types of beer appreciated and thus many beer glass styles, American beer is typically served in mugs or pilsner glasses. A pilsner glass is the typical tall narrow glass with the slightly wider rim that you will see frequently used in bars. Lighter beers are traditionally served in pilsner glasses while darker, heavier brews are more compatible with mugs or steins.

Cocktail Glasses
There are countless numbers of cocktail concoctions and mixed drinks, but luckily most of these drinks are intended for a standard set of glasses.

  • Collins Glasses – Alternately referred to as tumblers, these 14-16 oz tall glasses are the right choice for soft drinks, whiskey sours, bloody marys and any juice-based cocktail such as the cranberry juice and vodka. The larger size of the glass complements the limited amount of alcohol content in these drinks. Most standard drinking glasses can be classified as Collins glasses.
  • Highball Glasses – At a slightly smaller 10-12 ounces, highball glasses are used for stronger mixed drinks such as the tequila sunrise, gin and tonic and long island iced tea. These are also commonly used when a “tall” version of a stronger drink is requested. Thin and elegant, the highball glass is a classy addition to any glassware collection.
  • Rocks Glasses – Also called “old-fashioned”, these small square shaped glasses are used to serve cocktails with a high alcohol content and little else, such as rum and coke, southern comfort or seven and seven. As can be inferred from their name, rocks glasses are also used to serve shots “on the rocks”.
  • Shot Glasses – As the name indicates, shot glasses are used for serving shots straight up. In addition, shot glasses can also be used to measure the amount of alcohol used in other mixed drinks and are a great addition to any bar, even if you don’t plan on serving shots.
  • Hurricane Glasses – A tall glass with a graceful curve in the center, Hurricane glasses are typically employed to serve their namesake drink, along with daiquiris and margaritas. The beautiful shape of the glass makes any drink visually pleasing.
  • Martini Glasses – One of the most easily recognizable glasses and the favorite of James Bond devotees worldwide, martini glasses are primarily used to serve…martinis. The wide, triangular glass is available in many unique styles and is a staple of any bar set-up.
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Table Setting: The Art of Napkin Folding

For an especially polished table, cloth napkins can be folded into appealing shapes to add to the décor of your table. Napkin folding works particularly well on freshly starched napkins. Here are some common folding techniques:

The Trifold Napkin

  • Place the unfolded napkin in front of you in the shape of a diamond
  • Bring the top corner down to meet the bottom corner (fold it in half diagonally) creating a triangle with the point facing down
  • Fold the left and right corners down to the center point
  • Fold the top point down to meet the bottom
  • Lift the napkin from the center, allowing it to stand alone on the two folded sides

Windmere’s Fan

  • Place the unfolded napkin in front of you in the shape of a square
  • Fold the napkin in half either vertically or horizontally
  • Starting at the shorter end of the resulting rectangle, begin making ½ inch accordion pleats, stop when there are approximately 4 inches left to fold
  • Fold the accordion section in half so that the folds are on the outside with the remaining 4 inches at the center
  • Make a stand by folding the 4 inch section toward the base of the fan, allowing the pleats to fan out

The Rose

  • Place the unfolded napkin in front of you in the shape of a square
  • Fold each of the four corners into the center of the napkin
  • Again, fold the four new corners into the center of the napkin
  • Carefully turn the folded napkin over, and fold the four corner into the center one more time
  • Holding the folds together, slide the folded napkin into a diamond shape
  • Use one hand to hold down the bottom two points and use the other hand to reach under the two points to pull out a flap
  • Repeat this step with the remaining 3 corners
  • Hold the center point to access and reveal the additional “petals”
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Creating the Perfect Table: How to Set and Style Like a Pro

Eloquence in Presentation
Table Setting has become something of a lost art. In the fast paced world of today’s society it often seems as if we can barely find the time to eat, let alone set a table properly. While it might not be something you will want to incorporate into your everyday lifestyle, a beautiful table will enhance any dinner party or special occasion. It doesn’t take more than a little planning to add a touch of grace and refinement that will set the tone for the evening to come.

The Basic Setting
How you set your table is going to depend on the meal, or type of meal, you are planning to serve. Breakfast, brunch or lunch presume a more relaxed setting than dinner; and a casual dinner requires less tableware than a formal dinner. A basic table setting, suitable for breakfast, brunch, lunch and casual dinners should be arranged as follows:

  • A dinner plate in the center (allow at least 24 inches for each place setting)
  • A bread and butter plate placed at the top left of the dinner plate
  • A soup/salad bowl can be placed on top of the dinner plate (as needed)
  • A dinner fork placed on the direct left of the dinner plate
  • A knife and teaspoon placed on the direct right of the dinner plate (the cutting edge of the knife should face the plate)
  • A napkin folded to the left of the fork
  • A drinking glass placed directly above the spoon and knife
  • A coffee/tea cup and saucer to the right of the drinking glass

Elegant Dinner Touches
If your dinner falls somewhere between the realm of casual and formal, or you just feel like dining in elegance, the following additions should be added to the basic setting:

  • Add a salad fork to the left of the dinner fork
  • Add a soup spoon between the teaspoon and the knife
  • A steak knife may be added to the right of the knife as needed
  • If wine is being serving, the wine glass should be placed to the right of the drinking glass
  • The coffee/tea cup and saucer may alternately be brought to the table at the end of the meal

Formal Dining
When the occasion calls for formal dining, it’s time to bring out the big guns. Unwrap the fine china and delve into your pantry/attic/storeroom for those rarely used implements of culinary satisfaction, the dessert fork, the cocktail fork and the fish knife. It’s time to get serious with the flatware. To the dinner set up above, add the following:

  • Move the salad fork to the right of the dinner fork (salad should be served following the entrée)
  • Add a cocktail fork to the right of the newly placed dinner fork
  • Add a fish knife to the right of the dinner knife
  • Add a butter knife or spreader to the bread and butter plate
  • Add a service plate on top of the dinner plate, beneath the soup bowl
  • Remove the coffee/tea cup and saucer as these should be brought at the end of the meal
  • Glassware should be set at a slight diagonal with the highest point being the drinking glass at the tip of the knife, a red wine glass to the down left, a white wine glass further down left and finally a champagne flute at the lowest point above the teaspoon.
  • The napkin can be folded and placed on top of the soup bowl, or in a wine goblet

Table Linens and Place Settings
Again, the type and amount of table linens and place settings will depend on the mood of your gathering. For informal dining, no tablecloth is needed (although they are always a nice touch) and good quality paper napkins are acceptable. Formal dinners should be served on a linen tablecloth with matching cloth napkins and place settings if possible.

Centerpieces and Other Decorative Touches
When choosing a centerpiece, you want to make sure that it will add to the beauty of your table without overpowering it or blocking conversation. Fresh Flowers in low arrangements and candles are always beautiful, but switch it up sometimes by getting creative. Edible centerpieces, such as fancy desserts or a mosaic of colorful candies can add a whimsical (and delicious) touch. Shallow bowls filled glass marbles in colors that complement your linens are also an option. For a truly classical touch, create place cards for your guests. With a computer loaded with a multitude of fonts, you don’t even need to know calligraphy! The decorations and style of your table should be a reflection of you.

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Food, Recipes, and Cooking: Pasta Dishes

There may be nothing quite so satisfying as a dish of steaming pasta. The aroma can be enchanting…the taste spectacular…and the texture superb. But you don’t have to travel all the way to Italy to enjoy superior pasta. Thanks to the Internet, a number of tasty pasta recipes are available online. What follow are some of the best pasta dishes advertised on the World Wide Web:

If you enjoy a pasta casserole, consider a dish of baked spaghetti. This dish incorporates pasta, ground beef, onion, pasta sauce, mozzarella cheese, and cheddar cheese. Another intriguing dish is chile tuna sea shells, which involve a mix of pasta shells, white tuna, chiles, olives, onions, avocado, cilantro, horseradish sauce, and mayonnaise.

A dish which offers classic taste is herb pasta with garlic. This particular pasta dish is made with lumache pasta, fresh basil and dill, salt, olive oil, garlic cloves, and parmesan cheese. A dish that is a little more complicated, but well worth the effort, is Lasagna Maria. The dish is comprised of lasagna noodles, oregano, pork sausage, pasta sauce, mozzarella, mushrooms, egg, ricotta cheese, parmesan cheese, and pepperoni.

For the ultimate in Italian food, consider making linguini carbonara. This exotic dish contains linguini, eggs, parmesan cheese, oil, salt, butter, and parsley. If you enjoy manicotti, consider making a batch with sausage, spinach, eggs, bread crumbs, Romano cheese, garlic, and spaghetti sauce.

Pesto pasta is another intriguing dish. It consists of penne pasta, toasted pine nuts, cherry tomatoes, garlic, red pepper flakes, basil leaves, salt, and parmesan cheese. Ravioli with broccoli is seasoned with olive oil, heavy cream, garlic cloves, salt and pepper, parmesan or Romano cheese, and red pepper flakes.

Spaghetti alla puttanesca is made with plum tomatoes, olive oil, basil, onions, parsley, garlic, capers, anchovies, black olives, chili pepper, and parmesan cheese. It is a particularly hearty dish, designed for those who like their spaghetti spicy. For a particularly tasty lasagna, consider adding thyme, rosemary, garlic tomato sauce, turkey, ricotta cheese, spinach, and shredded Italian cheese blend.

If you’re a cheese lover, consider rigatoni with three cheeses. This dish includes mozzarella, fontina, Swiss cheese, heavy cream, parmesan, nutmeg, sweet butter, and salt. A unique version of a perennial favorite is skillet spaghetti, which includes ground beef, tomato paste, tomato juice, chili powder, salt, garlic salt, sugar, oregano, and onion.

Generally speaking, when you are preparing pasta dishes, you should make sure that the pasta shape and sauce work well together. This means using light sauces with thin pastas and stronger sauces with thick pasta such as fettuccini. Save the thickest sauces for ravioli and radiatore.

One of the wonderful things about pasta is that it is easy to vary the taste with different sauces and spices. Also, different pasta shapes lend interest to a meal. Through experimentation, you can come up with your own favorite pasta recipes, particularly when you try adding a new twist to an old favorite. Whether used as a main entrée or as a side dish, pasta is perhaps the most perfect Italian cuisine.

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Raising Happy and Confident Children

How do you raise confident and happy children? There are many theories about this on the bookshelf, on the internet, and from people, but what are some things that you can do to help your child gain self-esteem and be as happy as possible? Raising happy and well-adjusted children should be our main goal in life. Well-adjusted children become well-adjusted adults who are able to deal with life and all of its problems.

The first thing to remember is that we as parents cannot make our children happy by the objects that we purchase, etc. Buying the latest toys, video games, or gadgets will not make your child happy for life. It may make them happy for the ten minutes that they play with that toy, game, or gadget, but in the long run, it will not make them happy inside themselves. Raising a happy and confident child means that you give them the tools to deal with life and all of its problems.

Let them fight their own fights. As parents, we want to keep our children from any hurt or disappointment. What we need to realize is that if our children do not learn to deal with their own problems when they are younger, then they will not have the tools to deal with the larger life issues. Letting them learn to stand on their own and fight their own battles can build self-confidence like nothing else can.

Never quit. Teaching them to never give up is a way for them to learn true happiness and fulfillment. Even something as simple as not quitting a sports team because they do not like it is teaching them that we will not always like what we do, but when we make a commitment then we stick with it. Children need to learn that we as adults do not like everything that we do, but we stand by our word. This makes us better people. If they are not good at something, encourage them. Help them practice until they are better. Teach them that nothing comes easy, but the rewards of persistence are immeasurable.

Money isn’t everything. Teaching your children that there are people less fortunate than they are will help them to learn that money does not determine happiness. Let them create ways to help those people less fortunate. This will help them learn more about other people and help them gain self-confidence by teaching them that they can help others.

Listen, listen, listen. Listen to your child. Ask questions. Give them your complete and total attention so they will know that you are entirely in the moment with them. This gives a child more happiness than anything else does. Talk to them as you would anyone else. Children know when we talk down at them and it makes them feel inferior. Talk to them about your day and some of your struggles so they will know that you have problems and have to work through them too.

Children are the future of the world. If we do not raise happy, confident, well-adjusted children, then they will turn into bitter adults who cannot solve their own problems. It is very important to do whatever we can to make sure that our children grow into independent adults. Besides, we want them to be able to take care of us in our old age, don’t we?

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Keeping A Marriage Strong and Healthy

Keeping your marriage strong is essential in today’s time. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, which makes it even more important to learn how to keep your marriage healthy and thriving. Marriage is hard work when you consider you are bringing two people together who have different feelings, thoughts, and values to live together for the rest of their lives. This is bound to cause conflict if you do not work to keep your marriage bond strong. Here are some tips to keep your marriage thriving.

Keep talking. Communication is a vital part of any marriage. Honest conversations with your spouse about finances, children, and your feelings can help the two of you to build a bond that will never break. Dishonesty breeds distrust, which can severely cripple a marriage. Talking about your day and what is happening in your life makes you feel closer to your spouse. Keeping the lines of communication open with honest, frank talk is a great way to get your feelings out there so that your spouse understands you more and knows what you need, rather than you expecting your spouse to read your mind.

Physical touch is important too. Hugs, kisses, and touches are a way to connect with your spouse. With children, it is sometimes hard to find time to really talk and connect, but when you touch your spouse on the shoulder or the back, they know that you are there and that you care about them. This can make a big difference in your relationship. Sexual intercourse is another way to stay connected. You don’t have to have it everyday, a couple of times a week will help to strengthen your connection with your spouse and strengthen your marriage.

Forgive. Your spouse is not perfect and, I hate to point it out, neither are you. You are both imperfect creatures that are going to make mistakes. Wouldn’t you rather forgive than let it build inside you until you are in a rage? Forgiveness means that your spouse understands when they make a mistake that you still love them. That is not to say that you might be irritated at them for a little while, but you will forgive them and pick back up where you left off.

Trust. Trust is something that must be earned and built. It does not appear overnight and there is no magic way to get it. Trust is created by an open and honest relationship and giving your spouse a “soft place to fall.” In this way, your spouse knows that you are their biggest fan and supporter and you believe that they can accomplish anything.

Take time for self. This is very important for both men and women, but women are most likely the ones that do not follow this advice. As women, we get caught up in taking care of everyone around us and our own self gets ignored. Then one day, we wake up and don’t know who we are anymore. This is why it is so important to have your own goals, dreams, and desires to keep yourself grounded.

All of these things work together to make a strong and happy marriage. A marriage should always be growing – otherwise it is dead. Each partner should be working toward making a better marriage. A “perfect” marriage will never be achieved, but with work, your marriage can be strong in storms and sunshine.

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Spending Quality Time with the Family

As parents we strive to support our families both financially and emotionally. It is easy to lose sight of our priorities when our careers demand so much of us. Granted, each one of us must make a living to support our families, but we must also take into consideration our family’s emotional well-being. By setting aside time for our children as well as our spouse, we’ll strengthen their beliefs that they are loved and they are an important part of the family. We can successfully buy out memorable quality time with your family by following just a few easy steps.

Wake Up Early and Prepare Breakfast
This may take a little more discipline than most of the steps that will be mentioned. If we like most, work a “9 to 5” job, our sleep is very important to us. Some like to hold on to the bed for a few extra minutes, and then race to shower, eat and make it to work on time. Starting the day out like this can have a few drawbacks and even fewer benefits. One obvious drawback is that we deny our family the joy of spending time with us. We only grace them with passing hellos and short goodbyes. Another drawback is that we rob ourselves of being close to our family, even if for just a few minutes before work.

A simple solution to this would be to get up early before everyone else and have breakfast with them. Everyone’s schedules are different. Let’s just take into consideration that you and your spouse are scheduled to be at work at 9 a.m. The kids’ bus doesn’t arrive until 8:30 a.m. A good idea would be to plan on getting up at or around 5:30 a.m. Yes, I know that’s tough, but it’s worth it! Shower and dress for work ahead of time, then if it is your style, prepare breakfast for the family. And when your family is ready for breakfast, start a family discussion. Get everyone involved. Make sure you briefly address each member of your family and let them know that you do care about them. Be sure to tell them that they are loved and that you enjoyed your “family breakfast” together. If it was as enjoyable for them as it was for you, they will yearn for more breakfast time together as a family.

Schedule “Special Nights” or “Our Time”
Many children act up or misbehave when they feel as though their parents are not giving them enough attention. So they “plan” on ways to get your attention. It is often that children will act up in school, (either by fighting or mouthing off to the teacher), to get your attention. This may well be the best “strategy” plan devised by a child. When they act up in school, the school administrators call you and ask you to come in and talk about little Johnny. Therefore, you have to take time off from your job and come to the school to talk about your child’s behavior. This is also a warning sign or a cry for help from your child. He is trying to tell you that he needs attention.

If you find yourself in this situation, here is some helpful advice to counter your child’s normal adolescent behavior. Pick a night to have special time with your child. It could be any night of the week that you are free to do whatever he wants. Yes, do whatever he wants! Most parents see Friday night as the best night for this. Let your child choose what he wants to do. Let him know that you care about his feelings and you want to spend time with him. Most children love spending time with their parents. Some may deny it, but the evidence shows that it is the best medicine for a young child’s heartache.

If your child’s idea of special time involves watching the television, kindly suggest participating in another activity that is thought-provoking and educational. If he doesn’t go for it, then suggest an activity that you know he loves to participate in. If he has a collection of rare Chinese beetles, by all means, let him discuss them with you. This will again, assure him that you are interested in him as in individual and that you care about him.

Quiet Time With Spouse
Setting aside time for your spouse is critical for the outworking of a successful family. A strong marriage bond can withstand any trial that may face the family as a whole. The trial may be as minuscule as a late bill payment or as colossal as the loss of a job. Whatever the case may be, having two strong heads of the family will provide you with security and the satisfaction of knowing that you can get through whatever comes your way.

Scheduling time out may be easier said than done for some. It is easy to neglect one’s spouse when our jobs and children demand so much of us. Nonetheless, spending quality time with our spouse is essential. Try some of these ideas and work towards building up a steady routine of quality spousal time together.

Take time to talk to one another. Simply talking and listening to one another will strengthen one’s faith in you as a communicator and a listener. Be quick to listen and slow to speak.

Read to one another. This in itself is a treasure to cherish. What better way to have your spouse’s undivided attention while you read a favorite story to them. It is an age old way to captivate your spouse by means of your precious voice.

Schedule a romantic dinner. This is another effective way to spend quality time with your spouse. Do not think that only dinners that take place in a five star French restaurant are romantic. That’s not the case. You can create your own atmosphere there in your home. All it takes is a little effort and determination. You and your spouse need quiet time to reflect on your lives and to be reminded of why it is that you two love each other.

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Quality Time With Your Children

If you have children, then I am sure that you wonder if you are doing enough for them. Are you spending enough quality time with them doing healthy activities or is it more of the quantity time spent in front of the television? Television is a major part of family activities these days, but we all need to move away from the television to more healthy activities with our children. I am not saying that we need to throw the television out the door, but we need to monitor what our children watch and how much time we all spend in front of it.

Reducing Television Time
Have you ever counted how much time the television is on in your house? Even if you are a stay at home mom, how much time is the television on while you are working in the house? You may not be physically sitting in front of it with all of your attention focused on it, but it is on and your are half listening or half watching it while you are on the computer, sweeping, folding clothes, etc. If you added up the amount of time that the television is on per day and compared it to the number of hours that you are awake, I am sure that you will be completely surprised to learn that the television is on 80 or 90 percent of the time that you are awake and at home.

When is the last time you turned off the television and played a game with your children or went outside with them? I know you are busy, but before we know it, our children will be grown and we will be wondering where the time went. Housework will always be around, but our children will grow up and start their own families. I am not condoning letting your dishes pile up to the ceiling, but does laundry have to be done when there is just a few pieces of dirty clothes in the hamper?

Television can be used for quality time with your children also as long as it is not the only activity that you do with your children. Mix up the activities – games, outside play, crafts, and television – to create more interest and memories with your children. Children enjoy doing things with their parents and even doing something as simple as letting them help you cook creates quality time with them and strengthens your bond. Use your imagination to come up with opportunities for spending quality time with your children. You may be surprised by how easy it is to work it in to your day and your routine.

Children thrive on attention. If they do not get the right kind of attention from you, then they will try to get any kind of attention, whether good or bad. If you have several children, make time for some one-on-one time at least once a week. This does not have to be a long and drawn out process. It can just be taking one child with you to the grocery store or to grab take-out. Use the time in the car to ask them about what is going on with them and in their lives.

Adding those special quality moments with your child does not have to be and should not be a chore. Your children will appreciate and flourish from any time that you put everything else aside and concentrate your attention solely on them. So put aside your dirty laundry and dishes, and read to your child. You’ll be glad you did!

Lessons Children Bring

Some of life’s greatest lessons need not come from educated adults or philosophy geniuses. Adults, because of humdrum trappings forget that the innocence of children can sprout seeds of encouragement and spirit into our everyday living. It’s amazing what lessons children can bring the diluted minds of so-called matured individuals. If we just observe and listen, we can be witnesses of the young minds’ portrayal of forgotten beauty of this life and the world we all live in.

What is Love?
The Holy Bible, Mr. Webster and millions of other writers around the globe over the centuries have peeled what love is all about in all forms of literary writings there is-poems, short stories, films, novels, etc. Most of us are familiar with lines like “Love is the only thing that keeps me sane” by Sue Townsend, or “There is no power on earth that can withstand the power of love. By loving our enemies, we turn them into friends” by Stella Terrill Mann. They have all been said, or so we think.

How about the children? How do you think they define love? There are moments with children so beautiful and endearing; you know they cherish them for they know they feel loved. Like a hug a mother gives her child after coming back from school, that’s a gentle touch of love children will not exchange for anything. A ready sandwich and glass of juice on the table prepared by a big sister could mean the whole world to a young child. At present, you never know when an act of kindness will draw people together. With children, simple things could mean the biggest stuff toy or the best family vacation; all is love to them- however small, however ordinary.

Saying Sorry
In our imperfect world where each individual finds it difficult to acknowledge his flaws, more so apologize for a wrong thing said or done, we need to see through children’s easy way to say sorry or forgive an enemy. Do you realize that children are quick to utter the words: “I am sorry, can you forgive me?” In playful modes, children can calmly say, “Let’s forget what happened and play” with no dash of hatred or revenge. If this world will be perfect, each individual should come equipped with a forgiving mechanism that he can use to alleviate conflict, differences, discrimination and other forms of prejudices; like that of children. And confidently, this world will be a better place for you and me.

Enjoying small pleasures
Many adults are guilty of being slaves to technology and enticing pleasures like trips around the world, a top-of-the-line cell phone, and the newest collection of high-end bags. They don’t realize that the most satisfying moments are from collections from everyday life. Think of children’s average routine- waking up to kiss and greet everybody, eating what’s served on the breakfast table, saying no to an offer that he doesn’t like, agreeing to a friend’s invitation to play, going home before the sky hits dark and saying whatever thoughts he has in his mind.

Children say and do things without cynicism and they’re happy, which if adults will adapt will bring about new sparks of hope in this world. How many times have you woke up and left the house without forgetting to greet your parents? How many times have you complained why eggs were served to you at breakfast and not pancakes? Was there ever a time that you ever said YES to an offer you can’t stand? When was the last time you did not decline a friend’s invite for coffee because you’re too occupied? And with a nightlife you have, when was the first time you begged off to go to a party because you didn’t want your parents to stay up late waiting for you?

While it is true that adults cannot control the demands of the world for it progresses like we do, it is incontestable that there is banal wisdom in taking things one day at a time. It’s best to know the creation of a special moment and small pleasures. They don’t have to be extravagant at all. Like children, a slice of chocolate shared with friends will do and they can rejoice for it’s already a blessing.

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Dealing With Your Problem Teen

Let’s face it, all of our children will one day reach those dreaded “Teen Years,” but by handling the problem teen correctly from the beginning, you may find these years more rewarding than trying.

Putting aside certain emotional and physiological factors, many of the problems that parents experiences with their teens stem from the fact that a teen is in transition from child to adult. When a child reaches those critical teenage years they begin to realize that they are individuals, and want to assert this new found individually. Along with realizing that they are their own person, they begin to want a sense of independence.

Of course as parents, we must set up boundaries, and the majority of the time a teenager will view these boundaries as an invasion of their space and independence. So how do we deal with this emerging adult who has not quite made it to the age of complete independence?

First of all, we should remember back to the time when we were the same age and factor into that memory the way of life today. How did we feel at that age? What were our dreams, ambitions and our most secret desire’s? Realize that our children are probably not a whole lot different than we were at the same age.

At the same time, keep in mind that society is completely different today, than it was when you were sixteen, and a child’s surroundings will always play a major role in who they are. What is acceptable to the world today, was in no way acceptable twenty or thirty years ago. If you are to relate and communicate with your child, you must imagine yourself as sixteen in today’s world.

This is not to say that we must accept something that we know is wrong no matter what time era it is in, such as drug use. All it means is that we must remember the world in which our children grew up in. You may never be able to completely relate to your teen, but communication will be a lot easier if you understand who they are.

At all times remember that you are the parent, your job is to help your child to always feel loved and secure; offer advice and guidance. When you absolutely do have to set boundaries, explain your actions to your child and let them know why you feel these boundaries are important. It is extremely important to take a few moments and explain your actions to your child. By doing this, they will feel less like a prisoner of their age, and a little more like their parents are doing something for their own good, even if they don’t agree with it.

Be a friend to your teen, always let them know that you are there for them and they can talk to you about anything that they feel they need to talk about. If a child feels secure in their parents’ love, they are far more likely to bring their problems to you, rather than to peers who may not give them the best advice.

Another piece of advice is to let your child express their individuality as much as reasonably possible. Don’t try and mold them, let them grow into to who they are, and always give them encouragement while they are searching for their own place in life. Understand that the strange haircuts and odd clothes are just a passing stage while they are exploring life. As long as it is not harmful, cope with their weird quirks with a smile.

Above all, when your child makes wonderful accomplishments and does truly remarkable things, treat it as remarkable. Let them know always, that you love them and you are very proud of them. When you put all these things together, you may just find that these problem teens are not really so problematic, and they grow into truly magnificent adults.

For those who do truly have severe problems with their teens, it is still important to following these guidelines, but at the same time, seek help for your child from counselors or whatever form seems appropriate to you. The problem may be much deeper than what you as a parent can handle. This doesn’t mean that your child is a lost cause, it just means that they will need even more love and encouragement to grow into that wonderful person that you know they are.

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Relationships: Single Life — How is it?

Single life is choosing to live a life unattached whether temporarily or permanently. It could also mean deciding to dedicate a whole life for God’s vocation. The book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” from the author Joshua Harris had this to say about people at their crossroads: “If you’re not ready for marriage, wait on romance.” If you are one of those courageous singles who have taken the challenge not to rush love and marriage, the next question is: “When is the right time to commit?

Romance is one of the greatest things that make us all alive that’s why for one person to give this up so he can wait for the right person is truly remarkable.

Single life – depending at what perspective you’re looking from – is both nurturing and lonely. Nurturing: because you own your time giving you full control over decision-making in your life. Lonely: if you have the wrong values and perceptions on relationships. With this belief, how then can you enjoy life when you’re single?

How being single can teach you things about yourself, to serve others and to establish discipline in your life? Here are some suggestions:

  • Don’t get distracted with the fact that you don’t have a partner. What Emory Austin said is true, “Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. But, sing anyway.” And contrary to beliefs, single life is also a full life if you know how to live it without disillusionments.
  • Get busy with your studies or work. But, learn to prioritize so you can still have time for other areas in your life.
  • Involve yourself in organizations. This way, you will meet more friends and expand your horizons.
  • Dedicate time for the Church. God calls certain people to the single life. The Church provides the best positive influences and it is where you can find what God has planned for you.
  • Appreciate your life no matter where you stand. Enjoy cheap thrills because happiness is a state of mind. It’s simple to be the happiest in our life if we have less expectations and passive surrender. When people begin to understand that happiness is not about being married or being attached to someone else, it will become clear to us that it is indeed a joy to live a single life.

The “singles” who have embraced single life (either by fate or choice) chose to not give in on fleeting pleasures and decided to re-examine their approach to relationship building. They don’t feel easily tempted. And though they are single, they don’t feel alone. These people have the makings of loyal partners for their attitude towards finding the right one amidst this world filled with promiscuity.

Enumerated below are some signs when it is time to say, “I do”:

  • You will know if you’re meeting your “answered prayer” and “perfect match”. Intuition will tell you if he or she is “the one”.
  • If you believe you have found the wisdom that will lead you to a fruitful romantic relationship, go ahead and commit.
  • When you seem to be ready and you’re at a place where you feel everything is right, start a relationship. But, keep this mind: “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLughlin

And lastly, know this: the truth about married couples is also true to single people. Regardless whether you’re attached or not, you will find a common thread that runs through us all; that it takes full commitment to live both lives.

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